Without solid goals, it is quite possible to end up living an uncoordinated or purposeless life. We are constantly faced with a series of options and activities, and not knowing who we should be or what we should do is an enormous challenge. That's why we need non-negotiables. Establishing non-negotiables motivates a purpose-driven life centered on a vision and becoming a better version of ourselves. No matter one’s career, profession or outlook on life, there should always be at least a few things that we consider non-negotiables.
A non-negotiable is a fundamental value or principle that guides someone in the pursuit of realizing an objective or bringing their vision to life. Non-negotiables take precedence over all, they are any deeply held beliefs that are so important to a person that they will not compromise or break them. It's something an individual would avoid compromising with others and even with themselves. Non-negotiables could also include activities that could be a deal breaker for someone or an expectation.
In actuality, we all require reliable anchors in life and Non-negotiables serve as guideposts, showing us what and how to live out our values. Without non-negotiables, we are susceptible to being easily persuaded.
Non-negotiables can be used in all facets of life, personal development, work, academics, and relationships with others. In a relationship, non-negotiables are qualities and values that must exist to maintain a successful and mutually beneficial partnership with happy and fulfilled partners. Some examples of non-negotiable in a relationship could be no swearing or yelling or hitting or cheating. It could be not settling for less than one's expectation in a partner. On the other hand, personal non-negotiables could be a morning self-care routine like praying and meditating, financial goals or working towards an optimum physical and mental health.
Having a list of non-negotiables is one of the proven ways to take charge of one's life and habits.
Non-negotiables help us decide how we want to be treated by the world. Without non-negotiables, a person would drift through life with no true sense of purpose, direction, or clarity. However, when it is respected, a non-negotiable has a lot of benefits. By putting our non-negotiables into action in relationships, we demonstrate to the world how we want to be treated. We also demonstrate to ourselves that finding that solid anchor within is totally possible and we are suddenly no longer subject to the whims of the world.
Establishing non-negotiable helps make better decisions, it's a powerful and an essential tool for accomplishing life goals. It provides structure and it's comforting to know we are not straying too far from what matters the most to us. It forces one to be more discerning about how they chose to spend their time. In fact, sticking to a non-negotiable for a small amount of time can drastically change a person's life. Others may not realize the specifics, but the reality that something has changed will be obvious. These non-negotiables we see as little habits can have exponential, life-changing effects.
Just as people are different, their non-negotiables are different. Determining our non-negotiables depend on our personal situation, and lifestyle. The most important thing is to ensure that these non-negotiables align with one’s core values.
A non-negotiable requires an honest introspection. What are our goals and areas of improvement? Reflection and seeking out the true intentions behind this vision will help in knowing how to come up with non-negotiable to achieve them. Besides, when the process gets tough, one can always use this reason as an inspiration to keep going. To be unyielding and consistent, know the "why" behind the goal.
In coming up with non-negotiables, it's important to ask ourselves:
Furthermore, determine the consequences of sticking with these non-negotiables and gauge the willingness to pay them. Dig deeper and devise practical ways to implement these values. It helps to visibly list down non-negotiables, and break them into categories otherwise, they can become overwhelming.
After making a list of non-compromising principles or non-negotiables, the next and perhaps most difficult factor is sticking to them.
Having the self-discipline to pursue ambitious objectives and see them to fruition takes a lot of effort. This involves completing the tasks that are necessary before moving on to the desirable ones. Likewise, making it a customary habit. It also entails being aware of the appropriate times to say yes and times when saying no is appropriate.
While it's not compulsory to announce one's non-negotiables to the world, letting a few trustworthy people know about one's goals and the steps to achieving them, can keep us on track.
These are boundaries for oneself and others. The ability to live with intention and purpose is disintegrated over time by thin boundaries and letting self-commitments go unfulfilled. It takes practice to successfully set boundaries. At first, it might be difficult.to speak up about one's boundaries but in cases where our values and principles are challenged, it's better to quickly become accustomed to it.
Always leave some room for flexibility. Occasional slip-ups shouldn't become a source for guilt, anxiety or shame. Non-negotiables can be changed with time, context and situations or life events. Moreover, they have to be reviewed and reevaluated regularly.
In the end, the principles that guide an individual's behavior are what determine the path they will take in life. Without non-negotiables as an anchor, it is easy to dash around from one distraction to the next without any sense of direction. Notably, the point of non-negotiables is to lead a fulfilled life and be happy, and not to confine oneself in a self-made prison.
At Bloom Clinical Care Counseling and Therapy Services, we are Social Workers registered with the OCSWSSW. We have 25+ years of experience in supporting people experiencing depression, anxiety, guilt, anger, low self-esteem, stress, relationship issues, grief & bereavement, and other mental health challenges. We do not require any referrals and are always welcoming new clients.
If you are looking for therapists near you in Toronto, Bloom Clinical Care is located at 1200 Markham Road, Suite 306C, M1H 3C3. We also offer virtual therapy options by phone or video call across Ontario. Help is available, and we may be able to help.
Let us help you, help yourself.